Welcome to our Fun Jokes website.

Add our site to your MyYahoo! and get our newest jokes straight to you MyYahoo desktop.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Waiter & Food Jokes

Waiter, waiter! There's a maggot in my salad.
Don't worry, he won't live long in that stuff.

Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my salad.
Yes sir, the chef's using Webb lettuces today.

Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"
"Don't worry sir, the spider in your salad will eat it"

Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste! (submitted by Laynie)

Why did the boy close the refrigerator door?
He didn't want to see the salad dressing!

A faucet, lettuce and a tomato were in a race...what happened?
The faucet was running, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!

What kind of lettuce did they serve on The Titanic?

Q: What do you call a spider who makes salad?
A: A salad spinner.

Q. What is the most romantic fruit salad?
A. A date with a peach.

Waiter, what is this bug doing in my salad ?
Trying to find it's way out sir !

Waiter, what is this creepy-crawly doing in my salad?
Not him again, he's in here every night !

Waiter, waiter! There's a caterpillar on my salad.
Don't worry sir, there is no extra charge.

John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.

"Waiter," he shouted,

"Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"

"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter.

"I hardly ever get a compliment."

From Sam at:basicjokes.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Male or Female flies?

A mom walked into the kitchen to find her son

stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Gripe Sheet



Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one--reassurance for those of us who fly
routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots,
marked with a P, and the solutions recorded, marked with an S,
by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
small person pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from small person.