Christmas Puddings

Q: What must you know to be an auctioneer?
A: Lots

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Q: Who is the most famous married woman in America?
A: Mrs Sippi

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Q: What has a bed but does not sleep, and a mouth but does not speak?
A: A River

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Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party?
A: He had no body to go with