Picking on men jokes

Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him,
A2: three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You're not holding the pillow down hard enough.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women ... ?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.